Alright, kidoodles. After a long and soundtracked thought process, I've decided that the victory songs for presidential candidates are FAR too lame. I swear, if I hear Bruce Springsteen or U2 one more time, I may explode. We get it--YOU LIKE AMERICA. Since I'm feeling helpful, though, I've decided to give one candidate per week some sage song advice. Because really, "Where the Streets Have No Name" won't help you win my heart, you crazy White House hopefuls.
Ladies first, my friends.
Hillary Clinton: Loads of people think you don't have a soul, so you have got to show them that you at least can listen to women that have one. To put on the "victory shuffle" setting for your iPod: Aretha Franklin, The Supremes, and Amy Winehouse. Hearing a crack whore wail over the blue and red confetti will win you votes in the blue states.
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