Sidewalks Sweeping School!

by Faith Harrington-Taber

In a sudden and spastic response to the summer like weather, NCC’s sidewalks are reproducing at a sudden rate! Although the removal of the heavily used expansion to Kaufman’s main walk prompted hopes of a decrease in the concrete slabs of campus, the warm weather at the beginning of the term has decimated all hopes. The sidewalks are indeed repopulating, intent on completing their hostile take-over of NCC’s green areas by 2010. The newest conquests were carved into the lush and highly prized grass of Jefferson Plaza during 4th week. Back when it was Seager Lot, this noble and distinguished area of greenery could easily defend against the invasion by taking strength in its renowned reputation as a place of social interaction, string bikini tanning, and endless games of Ultimate Frisbee. But with its intrinsic nature permanently altered by its snotty and hoi polloi name change, the concrete conquerors were easily able to subdue all arguments with talk of the sleek, clean look of concrete, the respectability of squares, and a belief that worn paths through the grass are a mark of ill breeding. So thoroughly was the once independent land of Jefferson Plaza trounced by this argument that not one, but TWO sidewalks were able to mark new territory, its greatest defeat in many years. And why didn’t any nearby grassy patches come to its defense, you may ask? Because they were all disheartened by the failure of Kaufman grass to reclaim its triangles and caught off guard by the second replacement of perfectly serviceable sidewalks outside Seager. Up next? Once the highly suspect “re-landscaping” outside Goldspohn is finished, plans are in place to once again restrain the lovely former field in front of the library with yet another crisscross of dull and oppressive concrete squares. Vive la grass revolution!